My family’s relationship with my queerness has always been complicated. I never expected it change.
When I was 14, I got into a giant argument with some extended family about what qualified as gay behavior. It led to this huge fight between me and them, and then another between me and my mother when she failed to see things the way I do. I always knew my mom was homophobic, but it was in a ‘by default’ kind of way. I knew she wanted me to end up with a man, married with children (like a woman is “supposed” to be), and all the works. It wasn’t until this argument that I realized just how homophobic she was. She informed me that if I ever came out as gay to her, she would kick me out of the house and I would no longer be considered her child.
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